C update...

HB 150
Mommy's been poked, proded, and even checked for CF even though no one in my biological family has it... 2hr doctor appointments got to love them. Next appointment I'll have an ultrasound and hopefully we'll know what C is!!! Filled up lots of viles of blood, two urine tests, and one shot. Can I take a nap now? lol.

Thanks Giving...

Thanksgiving 09
I am thankful for songs that make me get up and want to shake it regardless of how miserable my day has been.
I am grateful for my nephew Negy and his awe and love for life that he shares with everyone who meets him. His utter excitement over the smallest things. Makes you see the world in a whole new light.
I am thankful for the people in my life who have given me a new appreciation for my life (Jim, Heather, Lynn, Olivia, Rob, Jill, Maxine, my Aunt Helen, children, etc.)
I'm thankful for the new relationship I've made with my mom over the last two years and how much more it's deepened over the last few months.
I'm thankful my SIL seems to be in better health and spirits and hopefully this year my birthday won't be spent during a sad time again (two years in a row is ENOUGH) but instead a time of celebration for C.
I am so thankful for the "village" that's formed for C and me. (my family, some friends, church family, and even a few exs mom's. Makes me feel like I must have been a sweet girl and not one they hated their son for bringing home).
I'm thankful I've reconnected with my church family and that the love there hasn't died even though I didn't go for two years pretty much.
I'm thankful that even though my relationship with someone isn't ideal it's no worse or a regret and I know things could be much worse...
As always I'm thankful that I was given the parents I have and each day they amaze me more.
Most of all I'm thankful for Love.

November 20th and faq's

Today is Josh's 12th Birthday!!!! Wow! 12 years ago today I was waiting around at the hospital in Port Charlotte chewing on five bubble gum blue it's a boy cigars and pacing around nervously waiting for his big arrival and to become an Aunt!!! I had told mom I didn't feel that good that morning I felt fine but I was wanting to play hookie I'd been playing with Ashley Manning I think the day before... I want to say Josh was born on a Monday but I'm not positive. Anyway I was pleading to her that I didn't really feel that good and then Ted made the big call. And Mom knew I wouldn't be going to school that day now. It seemed like we waited FOREVER! but not really Negy definitly has the longest wait time so far... and hopefully it stays that way cause I don't want Joyce to have a longer one next time and I definitly don't want to be in labor for 26hrs EVER! Mom and I were there and Greg, Pat, and his girlfriend all I remember is she was blonde no name lol, Jacob, Linda, Robby, Angie, Eddie, and of course Ted and Eddeana and Dad stopped in periodically. They ended up doing an emergency C section I can't remember why... But at that point - Mom, Angie, and I were the only ones there. And the music played everytime someone new came into the world a little song would play over the inercom kinda a lullaby I think it was only about 30 seconds long. But I remember being so excited!!! Dr. Mayo came out and said she's a cutie or she something and I remember for a second I was thrilled a girl!!! But no she just misspoke. Boy or girl it didn't matter I was too excited for words. Later that day a nice red headed nurse snuck me in to see him in his little bubble incubator and from that day on that little brown eyed boy had my heart. Happy Birthday buddy!!!

I've been remembering Josh's entrance a lot lately and Beans thinking about who might be waiting for C's enterance... When Gracie made her's there were a lot of family waiting and quite a bit for Miss Erin's too... Sara was a little stubborn and I don't think there were that many people to greet her. Of course Bean didn't have a lot cause they were in another state from the family. But there were phone calls all day mostly from Ann wanting updates!!! And it was Christmas day no one was working, why couldn't they check in 50 times I was so happy to give the updates but not that happy when it went into the next day lol. All I know is I want bubble gum cigars for C's enterance. I wonder if they still make those. :)

C mini updates
No, I can't see my toes anymore if I stand up straight :)
He usually only moves at night time and in the mornings and most of the time I stay in bed till I feel him move it's how I like to start my days. Or when I watch tv and Petey is purring on my lap he likes to kick him... :)
No, no mention of a baby shower... But, yes D, I'll keep you posted.
I still don't know if it's a boy or a girl but YES I want to know... Hopefully I find out soon (Monday maybe) I'm hoping to make an announcement at Thanksgiving dinner - we'll see!
I do have a boy named picked out but no no girl name... Still thinking.
And the only thing I really crave is lemonade. But in the beginning I wanted Franks Pizza and brownie batter blizzards.

A night for the books... and my last one for awhile.

Today started out great I woke up feeling guilty to the sound of yard equipment Brian had brought his brother and they were blowing my leaves and the sort... I didn't ask but I think he saw it needed to be done and wanted to do something nice. He's a considerate one. He came in for lemonade and to spoil Petey and we all played board games... I was still in a morning fog. Then this afternoon Sheena called and asked if I wanted to hang out. Dinner meeting up with Chris to shoot pool then back out for dessert. We had a CRAZY night full of "R" rated conversation... gotta love those two. Drunks, police, fire fighters, and ems, guys trying to score, dancing with strangers, drinking lemonade while everyone else had alcohol but I'm drained, my back hurts off and on throughout the day now and my feet are starting to swell, and I get leg cramps/charlie horses that hurt like a __ this kid is letting me know take it easy mom. So I think most of my nights will be spent in for awhile at least. Tomorrow is another busy day if the cramping goes away... otherwise I'll be in bed reading my pregnancy books and trying to pick a girl name since I already have a boy. Saturday is the parade and then later that evening I'm going out to celebrate a birthday well I guess that's what you'd call it ::rolls eyes:: Don't get people presents if you can't exchange them.

Oh Happy Day!!!

So today I was cleaning up a little bit... and trying to get stuff in order again. Making my trips to the trash and recycables getting ready to tackle yard work a little before my late lunch and hike and I checked the mail. Yay!!! I finally got my insurance card! Yippie. I can't even tell you how happy this makes me. I can't wait for the coming week and catching up on everything! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Also I feel I should thank some people... I feel extremely blessed for the amount of support that has been offered both emotionally and by the offerings of used baby items. I'm very grateful I had no idea I had such a support group!

And the girl gets spoiled.

I had a weird, nice, interesting, fun night. A friend took me out for an outing night. We talked about everything we ate and he took me to indoor putt putt then we went bowling. Seeing myself bowl must have been hysterical. Since it looks like I'm carrying a bowling ball myself. I don't remember going out and doing so much in one night in a long time. He was understanding about the whole my finger hurts after 10 frames or whatever it's called. And he was cute when I was changing to put my shoes on he asked me if I was to the point where I needed help putting my shoes on... he was all kneeling on the floor slightly creeping me out ready to help me. The best part bowling was with friends! This is a big thing for me because a lot of guys I've spent time with don't include me with friends or like a few guys back one guy had me hang out with friends but he knew that they didn't like me and there were quite a few girls in the crowd that I knew had tried to date him and would make it obvious to me that they thought he could do better and that they had tried to be more then just friends and make little snide remarks. It got to the point in that relationship where I just didn't want to do anything with his freakin friends... and most relationships since it's been really hard for me to get out of my shell when it comes to other people cause I always care so freakin much about making a great impression that I just sit on the sidelines and oversee so I don't end up looking like a fool. But tonight we all were gathered around; bowling, taking pictures, cracking jokes and C and I were chowing down on food. We had cravings. Cheese fries and tums... lol. I don't really care what people think about me anymore I'm just going to have fun wether it's shaking my butt after I get a good frame or being sarcastic infront of strangers or laughing so hard my face turns red. After bowling 4 of us left the crowd and he asked me if C wanted ice cream... Um hello. Of course he/she does. Pumpkin Pie blizzard... mmmm. We love our new buddy. Oh and the mom in me I had a coupon buy one get one free. yummy. He took me back to my lovely adobe where we watched some of the CMA's Petey attacked him and we mentioned maybe doing a repeat again soon but hiking!!! Yay. I love hiking but the last time I went with a guy anyways it was an ex from I dunno 4 years ago and I practically had to twist his arm... Tomorrow is another night out but with my bf... Yay. After all the stressful crap from the begining of this week I'm more then ready to have fun nights.

Today was EVIL... I woke up and got on the phone trying to figure out my stupid insurance situation. Called. Answering machine. Left message. No one has called back yet. How frustrating!!! I know they have a certain time frame at which to call me back but I've already called twice and left messages to no avail no not all today - I called last week. The whole thing just ticks me off. It's been a month they've had PLENTY of time. So then I called the lovely hospital at which I want to have C press 1-9 if you need this, want to talk to this person, etc. After listening to all those options I pressed 0 the lovely last option to talk to someone in person. It says if no one answers please leave a message. I let it ring 11 times maybe I should have waited for the 12th ring. Anyways, no one answered no machine picked up. I hung up and tried again. This time I pickedd one of the other number options that tells you to call the hospital billing number if you have questions about bills or insurance. Called and thankfully someone picked up. I explained my situation and she told me I'd have to call each dr individually because it was up to them. At this point I am VERY excited progress!!!! I call back the original dr with the 1-9 bull crap. There's actually 2 in the practice. The machine says the office is now on lunch. CRAP. I waited about an hour and a half. Called back. Explained my situation. She said she wasn't sure let me check. Almost immediatly she said no I was passed the cut off for new patients. BLAH. Then she kind of fussed with me a little. I asked her if all the other people who work with them have the same rules... You know save me time. She angrily snapped back she couldn't answer. Ok. Thank you mam. Have a good day. And I hung up before she could say anything back. Ok... 2 down 5 more to go. The next office a very nice nurse answered she kept applogizing if she sounded rude. She sounded fine to me. She told me that they do accept my insurance but under my situation she needed to check. Ok they would but they needed to make sure I was at least in the system. I'm not in the system yet. I'm not in the system yet! What are you ******* kidding me? She said to call back and make an appt when I'm in the system. Err... I thanked her. And then I just gave up!!! But no everyone keeps making me feel like a failure. I can't make idiots do their job any faster.

.

To answer questions w/o going into detail. Yes as far as I know they have been told. And no. No one has tried to get in contact with me.

Bean...

Well I'll start off with the good. :)
I had another amazing date with bean. Actually it was a busy day I went and got Donna at 10 we had a girls day.... lunch, "window shopping", and trying to find an orange sweater dress because that's her favorite color. I got C a little halloween costume for next year. A little ghost onsie, hat, and booties, Then Bahnson called to tell me that Aunt Nancy was waiting at Chilis for me. She tried to pull a Claire Belle on me but I told her I had a date with Bean and Joyce later. So instead we ate lunch talked about C, his/her daddy, and other things. And then I was off to my date with Bean. I had been planning this since before Halloween so I was excited to finally see him!!! He had to show me his Monkey costume how big his belly was in it - Joyce commented his little bootie was big too. lol. Then he had to show me the "bumble bee" costume. That's what he was last year. It still fit this year cause it was big last year. So he paraded around in both. We counted money, played with trucks, and then we made the cookies. Pumpkin shapped Halloween ones. I got a little glitter gel tube that he could do by himself and he decorated them with that and orange and black sprinkles. He was so cute he tried to draw the little faces. Then he tried just to eat the gel... Kid's got the family sweet tooth. Joyce told him he couldn't have a cookie till he finished dinner.
Around dinner time I told him I didn't think I could pick him up anymore cause it hurt the baby. He looked at me like I was crazy. I had went the day I got my first ultrasounds to show Bahnson and Joyce because well other people didn't seem interested and I was wanting to get excited. Bahnson told him that was his little cousin and it was in my belly. He looked at me and said no a baby's not in there. Negy can't be there. So I assumed he still remembered. But no. I said yeah it's in there. I showed my belly to him (took off my jacket). A big feat because well besides people seeing it in pictures I don't go around showing it to people. I can litterally count on one hand the people I've allowed to get close enough to me and some of them went ahead and rubbed it regardless of my wth are you doing. He noticed right away that Aunt Nancy did have a belly and the rest of the night that's all he talked about. He said he thought it was a baby girl. I said like Kylie and he said no she's a big boy now. lol. But he did say she was girl and he was boy. So I think he just mis spoke. :) He kept asking about it and told me it was going to come out there and pointed in the right direction. I was impressed. Although for awhile I kept thinking he was asking me if we could eat the baby and when I said no we can't eat the baby he said no. Did you swallow the baby? "Oh.. yeah, kinda." He ran to the fridge and asked if the baby wanted tea, milk, yogart, chocolate, I told him no but when it came out he could give it milk. Sometimes he'd be loud and we'd ask what he was doing and he said he was waking the baby up so it could get out. But then when bahnson started to talk he'd say "shh the baby is sleeping" lol. He also had to go get his little massager and give the baby a massage even though the massage went all around from my boobs to C. After dinner which he didn't eat he played and snuggled with mommy and daddy and then I read him his books for bed time. When I went in there he asked me if I was sleeping there with him. This kinda threw me he doesn't like anyone even on his bed. I told him no. "Oh you're sleeping downstairs." "No." I told him I was going home to Tucker and Abby and Petey. He got all upset you're having the baby come out at your house! Without Negy! Oh my. I told him nope he's still got to get strong. He said "and have muscles" and flexed his little arms. It was funny. I told him three books and after the 2nd one I said just one more. He picked probably the longest one he had. How the Grinch stole Christmas. lol Little procrastinator. I told him to give me a goodbye hug and we started talking about the baby. I told him he had a while to wait. Not until after Christmas. Thankfully that changed the subject to how he was going to have a BIG TREE. He showed me how big as he jumped up and reached as far as he could. I thought about this and realized I should have told him after Kylie's birthday and before mine. Otherwise as soon as that tree comes he'll be thinking I'm having the baby out now. I asked him if he had fun making cookies with me and he said yes he wanted one. I reminded him tomorrow cause he never finished dinner. Well then he decided he would finish eating. I had to give him one more hug and this time I picked him up he kept asking if he was hurting the baby. No he was so cute and protective. Then I left him eating spaghetti and him telling my belly bye.

The next few days haven't been as great I guess I'm getting overwhelmed about stuff. Something set me off in the morning and then in the afternoon I went to eat dinner with Sheena and we went to the mall she was looking for a Christmas ornament for her little cousin and I was looking around to see if they had a little preggo one well they had 5 but they all came with preggo mommy and a daddy and two of those had a little kid on the dad's leg . There was one without a male but it was bear and well I thought it was ugly. Blah. Little things rub me the wrong way. lol. I just try and stay positive!

Tomorrow is a new day and a friend offered to buy me and C lunch. So I'm sure it'll be a great day.