Monkey, train rides, and snow that never melts.

So... Monkey's last appt went good. I was able to accomplish something that I hadn't done in 5 years... lol. Her HB was 150 and my bp was 110/66. And I had to swollow that disgusting glucose drink. Yuck. But it really wasn't too bad!!! Also, I met a great dr and she's going to see me the rest of the pregnancy no more grumpy old men that jab. I'm getting anxious about her arrival now everytime I walk in the laundry room and see all those little clothes hanging up. lol.

We had a big snow... if you want to call it that last friday and I am still unable to get out of my driveway. But their are rumors that my brother might be rescuing me today. We'll see. I've been a little stir crazy in the house this many days in a row. :(

A week or so ago I took the Bean to the "middle" mall - to ride the train. He was loving it!!! Talked to everyone made a "friend" didn't want to get off and then wanted to get right back on when he did.

sick

I've been sick this weekend. Hot flashes, then freezing, runny nose and an extremely painful headache that was so bad it hurt to move or to see light. Not very much fun. Since I've felt so crappy I really haven't been feeling like eating but I'm making myself. And I've been reading all my baby books and birth stories and trying to get an idea about the birth classes before they start. I'm lucky in the fact that the baby (if everything is good) has the oppourtunity to stay in the room 24/7. I thought this was really neat but I have a feeling I'm going to be exhausted and I'm not really sure who's going to be in the room on the other bed. And I started to worry about who was going to be there to get my food. lol. I mean what if this kid arrives at 3 am and the cafes closed and I get left over cafeteria food blah. lol yeah all I think about is food lately I don't mean to it just happens. Is it bad that on my registry I'm only really worried about two things. My little bouncer and well one thing that's not on my registry lol but if I don't get it then I'll just ask ___ ____ we'll see.

January

This month... is going to pass by pretty quick for me. I know it's December but it really doesn't feel much like Christmas this year. January is going to be a BIG month for me. 3 "mommy" classes two at which I can do fine one which I had to ask for some help with. A baby shower, and probably starting to freak out about my impending major life change. :) And the beginning of a train ride of dr appointments that every lucky mommy to be has to do. Everyone is really laying into me to pick a name for this little girl. Mom thinks Belen dad Keeps calling it little Elvira Jane (an inside joke he doesn't mean it, Mom on the other hand thinks her name is fabulous) aunt Nancy liked brittney or bailey or something she thinks I should run with the reverse initails like John and Monica did. We'll see and I still kind of like Caroline it just doesn't go with the last name(s). Next appointment is the lovely blood check next week. Hopefully I get the same nurse again that found my veins right away. I'll be filling up on water like a camel again too to help things along.

Clothes, Clothes...

This kids gonna be dressed in some cute clothes...

her white leather patent shoes and her denim crib shoes
I want a pony, heart jumper, and loveable elephant
Church outfits, butterfly patch and pink.
Pants, another version of the heart jumper in a bigger size, and the bunny sleep n play outfit
Winter outfits... fleece pants and button up jacket, Mommy's angel,
and a cute pink leopard one with ears on the hoodie

Dresses: my baptisim, blue flower, and Megan's dress that matched mine.
A.A. Dress...Her bedding set.

Nana came to visit

I had an ultrasound Thursday. It's a girl! hb 159. brain, spinal cord, heart, stomach, umbilical cord and placenta all looked good. Although she was weighing a little ahead... Hopefully Brenden and Julie's kids stay the biggest though :) But as long as were healthy I'm happy. Yes, I had thought this was a boy from the get go and asked the tech a few times if she was sure it was girl. Silly me I had to go and be different from the rest of the crowd. And no it still hasn't clicked completely even though mom kept having me put pink things on my registry lol.

My Mom came to visit. We really got a lot accomplished. My house was disinfected, cabinets, drawers, and other things cleaned out reorganized, and lots of things thrown away. My brother and his helper my nephew came one day too. The worked on building me more closet space and fixing some little things around the house. I finally have a bathroom door that latches. Negy also announced when he came in "Guess what we have? A bed for the baby in your belly!" Yeah I'm kind of a sucker for my bean and anything he says (most of the time). Mom and I also bought baby clothes after my appointment and shoes and we registered. Made other appointments, several trips to the recycables, and other things, and set up the cradle that is a family heirloom my great grandmother had made for my almost 40 year old cousin (he'll be 40 by the time my little one comes) all the grandkids (13) have slept in it and alot of the great grandkids including both of my nephews. Kinda neat to think she'll be in it too just like her uncles, mommy, and cousins, before her.

Mom and I also got to spend some time with Bean and Kylie. It's crazy to think pretty soon they'll be 3 and eventually Bean will be outnumbered by the girls 24/7 - unless the Sloans are around. Another friend in Kylie's corner :) That's how I told my sister in law - "So Kylie's getting a friend."

Petey also went home with my mom and I'm missing my little guy A LOT and ready for him to come back!!!!

C update...

HB 150
Mommy's been poked, proded, and even checked for CF even though no one in my biological family has it... 2hr doctor appointments got to love them. Next appointment I'll have an ultrasound and hopefully we'll know what C is!!! Filled up lots of viles of blood, two urine tests, and one shot. Can I take a nap now? lol.

Thanks Giving...

Thanksgiving 09
I am thankful for songs that make me get up and want to shake it regardless of how miserable my day has been.
I am grateful for my nephew Negy and his awe and love for life that he shares with everyone who meets him. His utter excitement over the smallest things. Makes you see the world in a whole new light.
I am thankful for the people in my life who have given me a new appreciation for my life (Jim, Heather, Lynn, Olivia, Rob, Jill, Maxine, my Aunt Helen, children, etc.)
I'm thankful for the new relationship I've made with my mom over the last two years and how much more it's deepened over the last few months.
I'm thankful my SIL seems to be in better health and spirits and hopefully this year my birthday won't be spent during a sad time again (two years in a row is ENOUGH) but instead a time of celebration for C.
I am so thankful for the "village" that's formed for C and me. (my family, some friends, church family, and even a few exs mom's. Makes me feel like I must have been a sweet girl and not one they hated their son for bringing home).
I'm thankful I've reconnected with my church family and that the love there hasn't died even though I didn't go for two years pretty much.
I'm thankful that even though my relationship with someone isn't ideal it's no worse or a regret and I know things could be much worse...
As always I'm thankful that I was given the parents I have and each day they amaze me more.
Most of all I'm thankful for Love.

November 20th and faq's

Today is Josh's 12th Birthday!!!! Wow! 12 years ago today I was waiting around at the hospital in Port Charlotte chewing on five bubble gum blue it's a boy cigars and pacing around nervously waiting for his big arrival and to become an Aunt!!! I had told mom I didn't feel that good that morning I felt fine but I was wanting to play hookie I'd been playing with Ashley Manning I think the day before... I want to say Josh was born on a Monday but I'm not positive. Anyway I was pleading to her that I didn't really feel that good and then Ted made the big call. And Mom knew I wouldn't be going to school that day now. It seemed like we waited FOREVER! but not really Negy definitly has the longest wait time so far... and hopefully it stays that way cause I don't want Joyce to have a longer one next time and I definitly don't want to be in labor for 26hrs EVER! Mom and I were there and Greg, Pat, and his girlfriend all I remember is she was blonde no name lol, Jacob, Linda, Robby, Angie, Eddie, and of course Ted and Eddeana and Dad stopped in periodically. They ended up doing an emergency C section I can't remember why... But at that point - Mom, Angie, and I were the only ones there. And the music played everytime someone new came into the world a little song would play over the inercom kinda a lullaby I think it was only about 30 seconds long. But I remember being so excited!!! Dr. Mayo came out and said she's a cutie or she something and I remember for a second I was thrilled a girl!!! But no she just misspoke. Boy or girl it didn't matter I was too excited for words. Later that day a nice red headed nurse snuck me in to see him in his little bubble incubator and from that day on that little brown eyed boy had my heart. Happy Birthday buddy!!!

I've been remembering Josh's entrance a lot lately and Beans thinking about who might be waiting for C's enterance... When Gracie made her's there were a lot of family waiting and quite a bit for Miss Erin's too... Sara was a little stubborn and I don't think there were that many people to greet her. Of course Bean didn't have a lot cause they were in another state from the family. But there were phone calls all day mostly from Ann wanting updates!!! And it was Christmas day no one was working, why couldn't they check in 50 times I was so happy to give the updates but not that happy when it went into the next day lol. All I know is I want bubble gum cigars for C's enterance. I wonder if they still make those. :)

C mini updates
No, I can't see my toes anymore if I stand up straight :)
He usually only moves at night time and in the mornings and most of the time I stay in bed till I feel him move it's how I like to start my days. Or when I watch tv and Petey is purring on my lap he likes to kick him... :)
No, no mention of a baby shower... But, yes D, I'll keep you posted.
I still don't know if it's a boy or a girl but YES I want to know... Hopefully I find out soon (Monday maybe) I'm hoping to make an announcement at Thanksgiving dinner - we'll see!
I do have a boy named picked out but no no girl name... Still thinking.
And the only thing I really crave is lemonade. But in the beginning I wanted Franks Pizza and brownie batter blizzards.

A night for the books... and my last one for awhile.

Today started out great I woke up feeling guilty to the sound of yard equipment Brian had brought his brother and they were blowing my leaves and the sort... I didn't ask but I think he saw it needed to be done and wanted to do something nice. He's a considerate one. He came in for lemonade and to spoil Petey and we all played board games... I was still in a morning fog. Then this afternoon Sheena called and asked if I wanted to hang out. Dinner meeting up with Chris to shoot pool then back out for dessert. We had a CRAZY night full of "R" rated conversation... gotta love those two. Drunks, police, fire fighters, and ems, guys trying to score, dancing with strangers, drinking lemonade while everyone else had alcohol but I'm drained, my back hurts off and on throughout the day now and my feet are starting to swell, and I get leg cramps/charlie horses that hurt like a __ this kid is letting me know take it easy mom. So I think most of my nights will be spent in for awhile at least. Tomorrow is another busy day if the cramping goes away... otherwise I'll be in bed reading my pregnancy books and trying to pick a girl name since I already have a boy. Saturday is the parade and then later that evening I'm going out to celebrate a birthday well I guess that's what you'd call it ::rolls eyes:: Don't get people presents if you can't exchange them.

Oh Happy Day!!!

So today I was cleaning up a little bit... and trying to get stuff in order again. Making my trips to the trash and recycables getting ready to tackle yard work a little before my late lunch and hike and I checked the mail. Yay!!! I finally got my insurance card! Yippie. I can't even tell you how happy this makes me. I can't wait for the coming week and catching up on everything! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Also I feel I should thank some people... I feel extremely blessed for the amount of support that has been offered both emotionally and by the offerings of used baby items. I'm very grateful I had no idea I had such a support group!

And the girl gets spoiled.

I had a weird, nice, interesting, fun night. A friend took me out for an outing night. We talked about everything we ate and he took me to indoor putt putt then we went bowling. Seeing myself bowl must have been hysterical. Since it looks like I'm carrying a bowling ball myself. I don't remember going out and doing so much in one night in a long time. He was understanding about the whole my finger hurts after 10 frames or whatever it's called. And he was cute when I was changing to put my shoes on he asked me if I was to the point where I needed help putting my shoes on... he was all kneeling on the floor slightly creeping me out ready to help me. The best part bowling was with friends! This is a big thing for me because a lot of guys I've spent time with don't include me with friends or like a few guys back one guy had me hang out with friends but he knew that they didn't like me and there were quite a few girls in the crowd that I knew had tried to date him and would make it obvious to me that they thought he could do better and that they had tried to be more then just friends and make little snide remarks. It got to the point in that relationship where I just didn't want to do anything with his freakin friends... and most relationships since it's been really hard for me to get out of my shell when it comes to other people cause I always care so freakin much about making a great impression that I just sit on the sidelines and oversee so I don't end up looking like a fool. But tonight we all were gathered around; bowling, taking pictures, cracking jokes and C and I were chowing down on food. We had cravings. Cheese fries and tums... lol. I don't really care what people think about me anymore I'm just going to have fun wether it's shaking my butt after I get a good frame or being sarcastic infront of strangers or laughing so hard my face turns red. After bowling 4 of us left the crowd and he asked me if C wanted ice cream... Um hello. Of course he/she does. Pumpkin Pie blizzard... mmmm. We love our new buddy. Oh and the mom in me I had a coupon buy one get one free. yummy. He took me back to my lovely adobe where we watched some of the CMA's Petey attacked him and we mentioned maybe doing a repeat again soon but hiking!!! Yay. I love hiking but the last time I went with a guy anyways it was an ex from I dunno 4 years ago and I practically had to twist his arm... Tomorrow is another night out but with my bf... Yay. After all the stressful crap from the begining of this week I'm more then ready to have fun nights.

Today was EVIL... I woke up and got on the phone trying to figure out my stupid insurance situation. Called. Answering machine. Left message. No one has called back yet. How frustrating!!! I know they have a certain time frame at which to call me back but I've already called twice and left messages to no avail no not all today - I called last week. The whole thing just ticks me off. It's been a month they've had PLENTY of time. So then I called the lovely hospital at which I want to have C press 1-9 if you need this, want to talk to this person, etc. After listening to all those options I pressed 0 the lovely last option to talk to someone in person. It says if no one answers please leave a message. I let it ring 11 times maybe I should have waited for the 12th ring. Anyways, no one answered no machine picked up. I hung up and tried again. This time I pickedd one of the other number options that tells you to call the hospital billing number if you have questions about bills or insurance. Called and thankfully someone picked up. I explained my situation and she told me I'd have to call each dr individually because it was up to them. At this point I am VERY excited progress!!!! I call back the original dr with the 1-9 bull crap. There's actually 2 in the practice. The machine says the office is now on lunch. CRAP. I waited about an hour and a half. Called back. Explained my situation. She said she wasn't sure let me check. Almost immediatly she said no I was passed the cut off for new patients. BLAH. Then she kind of fussed with me a little. I asked her if all the other people who work with them have the same rules... You know save me time. She angrily snapped back she couldn't answer. Ok. Thank you mam. Have a good day. And I hung up before she could say anything back. Ok... 2 down 5 more to go. The next office a very nice nurse answered she kept applogizing if she sounded rude. She sounded fine to me. She told me that they do accept my insurance but under my situation she needed to check. Ok they would but they needed to make sure I was at least in the system. I'm not in the system yet. I'm not in the system yet! What are you ******* kidding me? She said to call back and make an appt when I'm in the system. Err... I thanked her. And then I just gave up!!! But no everyone keeps making me feel like a failure. I can't make idiots do their job any faster.

.

To answer questions w/o going into detail. Yes as far as I know they have been told. And no. No one has tried to get in contact with me.

Bean...

Well I'll start off with the good. :)
I had another amazing date with bean. Actually it was a busy day I went and got Donna at 10 we had a girls day.... lunch, "window shopping", and trying to find an orange sweater dress because that's her favorite color. I got C a little halloween costume for next year. A little ghost onsie, hat, and booties, Then Bahnson called to tell me that Aunt Nancy was waiting at Chilis for me. She tried to pull a Claire Belle on me but I told her I had a date with Bean and Joyce later. So instead we ate lunch talked about C, his/her daddy, and other things. And then I was off to my date with Bean. I had been planning this since before Halloween so I was excited to finally see him!!! He had to show me his Monkey costume how big his belly was in it - Joyce commented his little bootie was big too. lol. Then he had to show me the "bumble bee" costume. That's what he was last year. It still fit this year cause it was big last year. So he paraded around in both. We counted money, played with trucks, and then we made the cookies. Pumpkin shapped Halloween ones. I got a little glitter gel tube that he could do by himself and he decorated them with that and orange and black sprinkles. He was so cute he tried to draw the little faces. Then he tried just to eat the gel... Kid's got the family sweet tooth. Joyce told him he couldn't have a cookie till he finished dinner.
Around dinner time I told him I didn't think I could pick him up anymore cause it hurt the baby. He looked at me like I was crazy. I had went the day I got my first ultrasounds to show Bahnson and Joyce because well other people didn't seem interested and I was wanting to get excited. Bahnson told him that was his little cousin and it was in my belly. He looked at me and said no a baby's not in there. Negy can't be there. So I assumed he still remembered. But no. I said yeah it's in there. I showed my belly to him (took off my jacket). A big feat because well besides people seeing it in pictures I don't go around showing it to people. I can litterally count on one hand the people I've allowed to get close enough to me and some of them went ahead and rubbed it regardless of my wth are you doing. He noticed right away that Aunt Nancy did have a belly and the rest of the night that's all he talked about. He said he thought it was a baby girl. I said like Kylie and he said no she's a big boy now. lol. But he did say she was girl and he was boy. So I think he just mis spoke. :) He kept asking about it and told me it was going to come out there and pointed in the right direction. I was impressed. Although for awhile I kept thinking he was asking me if we could eat the baby and when I said no we can't eat the baby he said no. Did you swallow the baby? "Oh.. yeah, kinda." He ran to the fridge and asked if the baby wanted tea, milk, yogart, chocolate, I told him no but when it came out he could give it milk. Sometimes he'd be loud and we'd ask what he was doing and he said he was waking the baby up so it could get out. But then when bahnson started to talk he'd say "shh the baby is sleeping" lol. He also had to go get his little massager and give the baby a massage even though the massage went all around from my boobs to C. After dinner which he didn't eat he played and snuggled with mommy and daddy and then I read him his books for bed time. When I went in there he asked me if I was sleeping there with him. This kinda threw me he doesn't like anyone even on his bed. I told him no. "Oh you're sleeping downstairs." "No." I told him I was going home to Tucker and Abby and Petey. He got all upset you're having the baby come out at your house! Without Negy! Oh my. I told him nope he's still got to get strong. He said "and have muscles" and flexed his little arms. It was funny. I told him three books and after the 2nd one I said just one more. He picked probably the longest one he had. How the Grinch stole Christmas. lol Little procrastinator. I told him to give me a goodbye hug and we started talking about the baby. I told him he had a while to wait. Not until after Christmas. Thankfully that changed the subject to how he was going to have a BIG TREE. He showed me how big as he jumped up and reached as far as he could. I thought about this and realized I should have told him after Kylie's birthday and before mine. Otherwise as soon as that tree comes he'll be thinking I'm having the baby out now. I asked him if he had fun making cookies with me and he said yes he wanted one. I reminded him tomorrow cause he never finished dinner. Well then he decided he would finish eating. I had to give him one more hug and this time I picked him up he kept asking if he was hurting the baby. No he was so cute and protective. Then I left him eating spaghetti and him telling my belly bye.

The next few days haven't been as great I guess I'm getting overwhelmed about stuff. Something set me off in the morning and then in the afternoon I went to eat dinner with Sheena and we went to the mall she was looking for a Christmas ornament for her little cousin and I was looking around to see if they had a little preggo one well they had 5 but they all came with preggo mommy and a daddy and two of those had a little kid on the dad's leg . There was one without a male but it was bear and well I thought it was ugly. Blah. Little things rub me the wrong way. lol. I just try and stay positive!

Tomorrow is a new day and a friend offered to buy me and C lunch. So I'm sure it'll be a great day.

Happy Halloween

From me and C.

Florida...

This week has kind of flown by. Mom and I went to buy me new clothes she affectionately calls me "fat girl" thanks mom. And she probably is annoyed to death with me because I have Aunt Florence syndrome I only buy things that are clearanced or very good deals. We've gotten two presents for Bean and mailed his cookies. And one night Mom and I just went out for a steak dinner and then we brought home a delicious frech silk pie for everyone dad had called and told mom the baby wanted pie to pick one for everyone I think he wanted pie lol. We had to buy a new charger for my phone. Petey (my cat) chewed on the old one and it had a horrible short and suddenly quit working all together and the phone store happens to be right by a DQ so we had blizzards too. I also got Bean some stickers for his potty board. For the most part I've just been staying inside though my stress level can't handle much of certain individuals. Tonight Josh has a homecoming dance he's out buying "dancing shoes" and a coursage for Summer. Sunday I'm off to Orlando to see my bff Amanda and my Uncle and Aunt. Then it will be back to my little shack and Petey. Yes, I'm homesick. I enjoy seeing my parents but I can't handle long visits. Antisocial much?

The Beach trip aka Fern's Wedding aka. All the cool stuff and Spiderman

My cousin called me around 8 and told me to WAKE UP! I'd already been up. But my phone was dead and so when he called at 7 he thought I was sleeping. Well at 7 you can bet I was sleeping :) Paul told me to be at the house at 2 and then said Kathy said 1. So I left at 11:50 and thought I was never going to hear the end of it - I was sure I was going to be late. But I actually got there either a couple minutes before or a couple after. Aunt Nancy and Paul were supposed to leave at 12 or 12:30 with Erin but when I got there everyone was there and Aunt Nancy ended up coming 5 minutes before me. So we decided to wait it out and all leave after Kathy and I picked up Megan shortly after 2. Kathy and Aunt Nancy watched soap operas while Erin colored care bear pictures for me and Paul checked and rechecked the vehicles and went to put gas in Aunt Nancy's car. Kathy and I went to pick up Megan then we went back and followed Paul and his car load to Kangaroo Megan and I stocked up on snacks while Kathy pumped gas and Paul's car made one last bathroom break. And then we were off! As always we had the walky talkys to keep everyone in the loop and to talk back and forth with everyone. This time it was used to tell Paul to slow down a few times. So we could keep up lol. Amazingly we only made one stop because Paul wanted ice cream. Yes, I'm not joking it wasn't for gas or bathroom breaks but ice cream :) Typical Craig sweet tooth. When we got there we realized it was quite out of civilization. There was a piggly wiggly down a little on the "island". And a bar/restaraunt behind our house. We didn't get the memo to bring our own linnens though and instead of going to the pig roast we ate snack food and then Paul and Aunt Nancy went and found a Subway and brought us back subs. And Ann came bearing sheets and towels. It was a beautiful house 6 bedroom 6 bath. The downstairs master had the whirlpool bathtub and a steamroom/shower. The first night Megan and I stayed up watching scary movie 2 while Ann and Randy went for a midnight walk on the beach.
The next morning Paul made scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage, grits, something else, and HUGE bisquits and Kathy, Megan, Gracie, and I went to go get pedicures and explore the island. Turns out the beauty shop only had one employee and couldn't do all of us. So we went to the gift shops instead came back ate lunch and then did our own pedicures. We drove down the road to the wedding. It was really nice they gave us shells to throw in the ocean after the ceremony for a wish for Fern and Courtney. There were a few chairs but most of us stood around with our umbrellas. It was raining but the bridesmaids came, and the flowergirl who tossed sand dollars, then Fern... And the rain stopped :) And then after everyone was under the arch we noticed rainbows. It was really pretty. Courtney's bird was in attendance along with Kermit and Miss Piggy. And they had this guy playing a steel drum which sounded really beautiful. The reception area was just as beautiful. There were blue flags which hung on the doors with P monogrammed on them the P's were made out of cute little daisies that was my favorite. But there were lots of other decorations too. We ate danced, watched a photo slide show, listened to the speeches. Watched a truly entertaining first dance where Courtney stripped out of his white collared shirt to reveal a spiderman outfit (hopefully someone got a movie) and the favors were little icing sugar cookies a sea turtle and a sail boat wrapped up with the wedding colors. I grabbed mine to send to Bean. Courtney had a yummy coconut, chocolate, and something else grooms cake. Supposedly it was real coconut Dad moaned the whole time cause he only got one bite and Aunt Nancy took over his piece and then I brought him one but Mom took it. lol. Coconut is his favorite poor guy.
After the wedding My generation and the next (minus Erin who had passed out in the car on the way back to the house) went crab hunting. Well that's what Paul called it. It was close to midnight, the older crew minus Kathy and I were drinking, and walking on the beach. . . turns out their version of crab hunting is shinning the flashlight on them chassing them and then making sure they get back in the water. We found quite a few and some really big ones too!! At one point I wasn't sure if Paul had one of the bigger ones bite him. He was laughing so hard I couldn't tell if he was crying - turns out it was just a close call.
The next morning Paul was in the kitchen again making ham and cheese bagels and other things... Everyone packed up and then the Florida crew (and me) headed out. Doris and Joe came as we were leaving. The ride back was interesting Josh had to stop for bathroom breaks probably 5 times. I told him it's bad if his bladder is worse then the old and pregnant.

I have a large list of things I want to accomplish today most of it has to do with C. What a demanding person they are already ;) And then the rest of it has to do with getting my house cleaned. hah hah. It wouldn't be so bad if Petey wasn't going through this territorial thing where he has to piss on everything I leave on the floor. Which really isn't that bad! Because I don't leave a whole lot on the floor - But I do have this lovely basket that he likes to jump in knock everything out of and then urinate on the conents once it's on the floor. He did make me smile this morning when I woke up I had gone to sleep in this big shirt that ties in the back and as soon as I stood up he grabbed on the strings. I had to of course pick him up and love on him then scold him for being so silly when we first wake up! lol. Anyway I'm off to start my day - and hopefully get everything finished!

My Brothers keeper...

I don't really know what to name this blog. My first house, happens to be my brothers old house. And because of that and the fact that it is still in need of work it has never felt like mine. Along with the house, I got 2 dogs, 2 busses, a trailer, and a shed full of things (tools) that I probably have no idea how to use if I needed too. Yes I know how to work a hammer and stuff, but no I'm not good with chainsaws, and other things that I'm not even sure what they are. His dogs are cute, and ....
<---- Tucker, is an excellent gaurd dog, But the 190lb fuzzy "beast" has started jumping the fence. Last night at almost 1am (this morning if you want to call it that) I heard Tucker barking, yes dogs are like kids they each have their own cry/bark. I kept thinking he was in the back yard, I'm not one to venture out at night but I figure I'd see what the fuss was about when I looked outside the light was on but there were no dogs, You see Tucker stands gaurd infront of the door, so I knew immediatly that he was barking at something or he had escaped. He had escaped -- and after he re entered to the scolding of his sister, and cousin he drank all the water and I presummed returned to his gaurd infront of the door. An hour later Petey, C, and I were asleep and then at 6:07 the most annoying dog was barking yes the girl ha ha. Later she is joined by the other two. But, Tucker's bark seems not infront of the door again. Blah. So I'm outside again it's still dark and the little devil isn't even waiting at the gate I'm not sure where he was but when I called he came running back got scolded by the others, and drank all the water again. Blah. So today I'm going to ask my brother to fix the problem or remove the dogs. It really wasn't fun going on such little sleep today.

Since my brother has his bus' here too I sometimes get people who just show up and start looking at it. Normally I don't care but sometimes it's annoying cause with C I don't feel good and I'm usually in my pjs and then I feel rushed to get dressed. This happened earlier this week. But this time he brought a peace offering (my nephew). He chased Petey around. Drank "good" juice out of my plastic wine cooler cup from wet-n-wild. Complained that the cat that doesn't scratch wasn't here, ate cookies, and watched 3 different cartoons. He's outgrown spongebob now but loves Max and Ruby, and that Japaneese? cartoon.

With the non-scratching kitty


I think he had a good time visiting!

Work??

As always I'm looking into the pros and cons. I'm trying to figure out some job that I can do from home... I feel like finding someone to watch monkey will be the hardest and well getting occasional help so I can catch up on sleep, household junk, and me time so I feel like finding something from home would be easiest. The thing is I keep running into dead ends. I'd like to keep up with 3 12s ideally. But I'm not crazy I know that it'll be hard to find someone to watch. And that's the thing I'm extremely picky. I've gone over possible babysitters and I just don't like the idea of hardly anyone. So maybe it's back to work from home, but I keep turning up unsuccessful in this endeavor.

I tried to ask for help and once again you shoved me away.

Taking my cat to the E.R. vet

So I have company this week... and they had some pills that they had in a plastic baggy and my cat chewed open the bag and then continued to chew open 15 tablets. I woke up to powder everywhere and my cat looking at me like he didn't do anything wrong.

Sometimes I blog so I don't end up screaming my head off...

UGH! Don't get me wrong I realize in this part of the freaking world that we live in to be single is a very stressful thing IF you feel like you're in a race and everyone else has already passed the finish line. But PLEASE for the LOVE OF (whatever you believe in) do not I repeat do NOT drag me into whatever form of dating it is you're trying to accomplish. Do not make little promises to me, do not spend hours texting, calling, etc when it appears that I do not care. BC I probably DO NOT care as anything more then a friend. Do not put me on the spot about going out on stupid dates. I don't like that b.s. I've been dealing with 4 charecters lets call them DA #1, DA#2 and on till #4. All 4 at one time told me they might be my guy in shinning armor if I give them a chance. Blah. How can they be when they don't know what I'm looking for? And 3 out of 4 have awkwardly in some way hinted at marriage. Even though I only ever dated #1. Men are really just starting to tick me off. I thought we were supposed to be the ones that thought "emotionally/lovey dovey" whatever but I'm seriously starting to think it's men. Either that or they think the lines they feed me will get them somewhere but instead it only makes me want to run away. Pretend I have an iron wall around my heart from now on. BC you're just wasting your time on me what happened tonight and what's been unfolding the last few weeks has made me believe that all the single men today (within in a 7 year age whatever) are single because they are DAs (with the exceptions of widowers).

"No Pooping."

"No pooping?!?"
"She pooping?"
"Pooping? No Pooping!"
"No pooping. Aunt nancy!"

Kids they say the weirdest things. I went and had a visit with my Bean today. When I first saw my little blue eyed kiddo he acted all shy. I guess not seeing me since his haircut - made him a little hesitant. Hmm. He brought me a few toys and then instantly I was back to Super Aunt Nancy status. We played with dump trucks, memory games, monkeys, his little keyboard, and read books. And then he wanted to have a tea party? I'm not sure must be a new thing. Thankfully that idea fell apart when he tried to pour his milk in the cups... Not that I wouldn't have played tea party with him. I think he's read Max and Ruby one too many times. I wasn't looking forward to having to sit in the little itty bitty chair... that's all. lol. Then we went outside where I showed him a caterpillar. This is when he started chanting no pooping to me. I was confused turned out yesterday when he found another bug it kept pooping all over him. I thought they meant he had squeezed the bug too hard and it's guts had went everywhere. No. Evidently it was poop. And he was scared that the catterpillar would poop on him too. ha ha. oh goodness. He loves bugs, dirt, and killing snakes (very messily), but evidently poop is not fun and he knows the difference. He found a piece of cardboard and built the caterpillar a whole house. It had grass carpeting, rocks for furniture, and little rocks for cups (for it's tea I'm sure) and sticks and other things, and then another rock for a hot tub. What a creative 2 yr old I have. Turns out he made an ant hot tub yesterday. Yeah he's on this huge kick with hot tubs he kept coming up and sitting down next to me and saying "So what are we going to do today? Hot Tub and Hot tub." We also had a cat wonder into the yard and he announced it was Aunt Nancy's cat. Nope Petey looked nothing like this cat. But evidently all cats are mine. And then when I told him I was going bye he said no stay in negys room. no stay in negys house. It was soo cute. Just the distraction I needed for today.

"Baby, Don't Look Back"

I have so much going on in my life right now. And unfortunately I've lost a friend or two; or 5 and counting... due to some choices I've made lately. At this point I'm not even sure what direction is up. I want to look back and say I have no regrets but right now - that just seems like I'm shooting too high. I wish people would remember we are all human therefor not perfect. Forgiveness is key and I suppose right now certain individuals don't think I deserve forgiveness.

All I have to say is. Give me a chance. It will all work out.

Sometimes it doesn't turn out like we planned.

All my versions of the future don't include the road I'm currently on.

I've thought about having a huge wedding, lots of kids, a big house in the mtns, with HUGE family cookouts.

I've thought about a small wedding outdoors and traveling with my husband and having furry kids.

I've thought about being single and in the peace core, or running a midwife clinic in some third world country until I was older and then adopting.

Certain things have changed and made me go against some of these. But these were the main roads I saw myself going down.

And now...

Now I have no idea where this current road is taking me.

...

All I know to do it pray.

A Good Day After All!

(Before you read this take note I AM NOT talking about peoples opinions of my personal relationships past or present)

Everyone has opinions and sometimes everyone shares them... Does that mean they're right? Not necessarily. But if a group of 10 all share the same opinion is it likely it's the best one? Probably. But it's just an opinion. You have to form your own life. Walk your own path. Every long journey begins with a single step. And today THANK GOODNESS someone decided to take that single step. I dunno if it's just my family and all my friends families but with every individual they have an opinion about their romantic relationships. Examples: Thank goodness he was lucky and got that one. What a horrible mistake he made letting her go look what he has to come home to now (what we all have to put up with). She really shouldn't have led that one on. Thank god they're done they both deserve better. I know she's family but he's a saint for all he does. . . etc. etc. etc. Well today someone was shaken from the tree so to speak. I'm not talking about divorce (I personally would not wish that on my worst enemy) just a break up. And I wish we could all go out and celebrate because I AM SO HAPPY!!! As I'm saying this I'm hoping that no one has ever thought the need to celebrate when my relationships have changed. But it's life. Some people do not mix. Sometimes people just bring each other down and it's better for both to move on. And as this relationship ends. I hope someone takes some alone time and then continues on that long journey with another step!

------
On to my day
and today... I was semi miserable I am still feeling under the weather and I am still not sleeping well so I am very tired on top of everything else. My dept got changed today which is good. I like change (at work) but I never felt so useless. I'm not sure if there's any point even having someone over there. All I did was straighten ALL DAY. Time passed very slow I got the blues and I was more then ready to leave when it was time. I got some sheets to match my new bed spread I will take pictures! I also bought my first tool set. This made me really excited. However, it turns out I picked horrible tools they look cheap so I'm assuming they are. Once I got them out of the box and opened the kit I was wondering if these were kids tools. That's how crappy of a job I did picking them out. So they'll be returned and I will be tool-less again. ::Sigh::
But this new bedspread - I picked it out actually, because I loved loved loved this accent pillow it came with in the picture. I am not one of those girls; The girls that has extra pillows on her bed, purses for each outfit, a bunch of shoes, but this pillow was great in my opinion so I thought I was going to buy it and a whole bedroom set just to match it. Ehh... I got everything inc. a matching rug in the online shopping bag and then it said the accent pillow was no longer available. Blah! Oh well I haven't had matching bedroom decor or sheets or whatever since middle school so I just go ahead and get everything and decide I'll make a pillow to look like it. Then today as I was looking at Michaels and stuff online to see if I could create something similar I thought I'd try to get the pillow one more time. IT WORKED! It's backordered but I bought it! YAY!!! My new bedroom will be complete. I'm thinking of doing some DIY wall art and painting to make it a fun room!

And this is THE pillow simple but funky.
Kinda like me.
And yes I know it's on here twice I meant it that way because ironically I was talking of love.

Moving on. . . Moving ahead.

I put in my two weeks notice today at one of my lovely jobs. I just felt like a) I wasn't giving it my all anymore. I was so bored. and b) clinicals hopefully start next month and my plate is already overflowing. and c) I just don't care anymore. So it's time.

I am so tired today I can't even imagine keeping my schedule like it's been. I get drained so easily lately. Thankfully the inside of my house looks good still. I really need to work on the outside though. I keep thinking the lovely yard fairies will come one saturday while I'm at work and when I come back it will look GORGEOUS and I'll just have to clean the porch. I know this won't happen though. So I have called in reinforcements. ETA = ??? I might be waiting till winter. lol. I hope not. And I've also found someone who is willing to finish painting! Yay!!!!! So excited!

So Petey and I are off to watch our shows and cuddle cause we're sleepy today. lol.

The mountains is where my house is.... now to find my home.

Life is beautiful long and short. Yes both. I was "created" in the mtns. Born on the beach. Ran through sprinklers, chased childhood dreams, tried to swing to the sun in the palm trees. I tasted the beginning of independence in the hills of the sun and then I came back to the mountains where my heart has always considered my home. The second I see the grade there's this amazing feeling I always get. I love my state. I always have. I've played in colorful leaves, ran under waterfalls, gone to church, sled down hills, had picnics and loved more deeply in the mtns then anywhere on earth - and my heart has also hurt more deeply. I want to see the world but at the end of the trips I want to come back to my mtns. There's a lot of changes in the making and I'm not sure where my next adventure will be but I know where I will end up again - home to my mountains.

So my house is here in the town where hopefully someday I find a home or make one.

Sick?

Not feeling good today.

I laughed so hard I cried and nearly peed my pants

At my job #3 tonight I went and put back a large selection of baby clothes and then I glanced at the tables. One table only had 1 White Shirt left. White is usually something we have in huge numbers. So I asked Jennifer if it was the last one.... "I guess." "Ok". . . I refolded and tucked it behind the other ones. As I was walking away I noticed it wasn't the last one... There was about 6 others on the floor underneath the boottom slat of the table which is like 3 inches off the floor. And this isn't like a dinning room table mind you.
"Oh no there they are." - Me.
"Well how are we supposed to reach those. Goodness."
Jennifer tried from the long side. " Well I can't, we'll have to get ___."
and then I squatted down.
"Omg! No! What are you doing? Are you allowed to do that?!?! No, stop it! OMG Stop it!!" etc. etc. etc.
The whole time I am giggling.
"I'm pretty sure I can squat."
"OMG I don't know the rules but I don't know if you can. I guess you can. But should you?
And after I stand up she yanks everything out of my hand and continues to fuss at me.
I laughed. "I just did." And I wanted to tell her squatting was the easiest chore I'd done lately considering my f'n yard work. But I didn't want to get fussed at for real. But here she is asking me 50 questions and at this point I'm laughing so hard I'm crying and then the MOD comes over and she stops. Dead Sielence. All afraid we're both going to get yelled at for me and for her letting me "squat". I'm still laughing as I'm typing. She may have gotten dead silent but I walked away giggling. And then when I reached my register I burst out laughing. I'm not sure if it was the fussing or just having someone be concerned for me but either way. I laughed so much I had to pee.

Realization

I just realized that this was a big day in my past! Actually I noticed it today after work but forgot to mention it in my post. Three "historical" things in MY life happened today. ALL in one year and they were all firsts. And although if I told someone what they were some would think I was crazy but- others .... who've lived long enough to see all the dimensions would realize today is a notorious celebration of just life in general. And I'm happy that I remembered the date and those 3 precious once in a lifetime occurrences. Sometimes I wish I could cheat and look ahead to see what my future holds. When I'll find completeness in all departments. When my soul will feel "full" or free depending on how you look at it. I'm not sure if tomorrow will hold another opportunity for an anniversary some day - for good or for bad. I have so many bads I know will come but I have faith that good ones will be made as well and in two fold (I hope). Part of me wants to contact the people involved in my anniversaries for today. But they are anniversaries (the past and better left there). Just know if you read this I remembered this day quite fondly (now). The good, the bad, and the ugly and I love each of you who helped me with "my historical life moments."

makover and cleaning.

My mass body index score is the best it's been since high school. Kiss my butt (blankety blank blank). This is even including my lovely two blizzards I had this week while we were craving brownie batter blizzards from DQ I mean come on yummy. And who hasn't seen the hillarious commercial for my fav. monthly blizzard. I just haven't been overeating (minus the ice cream), I've been drinking juice up the wazoo. Yes I'm still having my soda but only about 4 times a week. But I've lost about 10 lbs... Which isn't great considering other factors. But I'll eat even more (good things) to remedy that. Oh yeah and my house is slowly getting a makeover. Slowly because I'm the only one. Last week I pulled all my lovely weeds (ok I cheated and litterally had to saw 5 down but I pulled the rest.) and took all the vines off my fence. I also cleaned off my patio furniture, and cleaned out my deckbox, Petey got a bath and combed until he looked very silly, the trash got taken care of, and I dealt with recycables as best I could until later this week and all my rooms minus the laundry room and the bathroom on the days I have to be up at 5:30 have been looking fantastic if I don't say so myself. and I think the animals have been relativly happy with their new schedules, Petey has been cuddling constantly and I LOVE it. Whenever I wake up the 10+ times durring the night he is always sleeping right there. And last night when I woke up and didn't see him anywhere or feel him curled up on my butt or side I'd figured he'd gotten back to his old habbits but when I went to turn around I noticed he was "spooning" it was so cute. I almost wanted to call people and tell them but I think everyone is getting sick of my cat stories. Right now he's curled up in a ball in my lap. Oh and yesterday when I was cooking a casserole he slept on the stove with his head hanging over looking into the door. Btw. I disenfect my surfaces before I use them so Petey doesn't end up killing me and unfortunatly he has to be put in time out when I eat. Because I can't speak like Jeff did or something my tone doesn't project the same and he isn't afraid he is practically in my food. Back to cleaning.
New cleaning products I love
Windex all in one glass cleaning tool. Works wonders on my windows...
http://www.windexoutdoor.com/?sid=SEM&cid=GOOGLE#/home

and I'm also still in love with my clorox disenfecting wipes... other products leave my surfaces greasy. I enjoy the scented ones.... when I splurge a little lol.


Fabreeze pet odor eliminator does wonders for my handy down couch

Moms going back to school....

I heard there's a lot of new rescources and funds available to mom's now.... I've pretty much heard it's the same as going for free... I don't know if it's that good. I highly doubt it. But if you're thinking of going back to school. Check out the new programs available. And talk to your resource officers at your schools. Some even offer day care. Exciting I know.

Also... My braves are kicking butt right now!

last post

and when you go out
do it doing something big
wearing something grand
smiling ear to ear.

Big Week

Next week is going to be a big week... drs appts. other appts. surgery. fun things. Not so fun things. adding on to my house.

June 6th

Last week I broke down and finally bought myself new work shoes.... I had to I purposely threw the old ones out. And while I was buying super cute work shoes... ha not really. But they're comfy. I also bought myself new tennis shoes. There some extremely light Adidas brand anyway they have comfy gel like insoles or whatever. What better time to decide it's time to kick fitness in the butt then after you get amazingly comfy workout shoes? So I've decided it's time to amp up the better living stuff. Back in August I lost 20 lbs. And I've kept some off but not all. Starting Saturday I want to start a six week thing. It's nothing in the books, or the tv, or magazines. It's going to be my own little plan. It's going to include me, my shoes, and what I already have. No gym, no workout equipment, no crazy diets. It's going to include watching what I eat, cardio, and my own take on muscle training. It'll include things I did while I was dancing (Yes I danced for about 6 years) and using things around my house as machines. lol. At the end of 6 weeks on July 11th. I want to be back at 1## lbs the weight I was when I lost it back in August. If we are close to that then I will be happy! If not I will look into gyms. If I'm around where I need to be I'll continue until August 15th. And then I should be at the weight I want to stay at.

I know this is going to be hard with the family reunions and yummy food, summer cookouts, and birthday parties. But in Oct when were all at that beach I'm not going to feel the need to throw on a wind breaker or something and cover up!

June 27th I'm going to let you know where I am...
And hopefully not celebrate too much that night!

Don't wait around for someone...
Life is too short to say well I was waiting on you....

Work on yourself.
Work on bettering the world around you.
Love every moment you have.

Remodel...

Over the course of the next few weeks... I will be posting pics of before and after. Thanks to the help of my bf and my bro the muscle behind the magic I will be doing some diy projects throughout my house. And my yard. Yay!!!

Internet Sites.

Have you guys used www.freecycle.com at all? I'm currently looking into doing some diyp for my house... My brother used it to help furnish his basement when his in-laws came to stay for an undetermined amount of time. I just don't understand I fill in my information and then It's like I hit a wall and don't know what to do next.

And, Christi, Jules, or anyone else have you used Amazon at all... I posted some old school books on there months ago but had nothing come of it. I'm wondering if I did it correctly.

Christi - When are you coming this way?

Tips

Bra Fit Tips...
I'm posting this because even though I'm supposed to be an expert I learn new things every class and thought some I should share with the other women in my life.
1. Each bra wearer should have 7 different bras. One for each day of the week. If you wear a bra more then one day the fabric actually stretches and you've ALREADY ruined it. Each day when you take your bra off it has a chance to mold back to it's original size. Also you should be rinsing your bra out after a day of wear.
2. Never put your bra in the dryer (I know most everyone knows that). The heat stretches the elastic = ruining your bra.
3. You should hand wash all your bras. Longer life.
4. You should be able to put two fingers and trace them under your straps above your shoulders.
5. You should be able to hold out the band of your bra = where it hooks in the back about an inch if it stretches longer then that a) You need to go down a band size (ex. 38 to a 36) or b) the bra you have on now is already stretched to far and is damaged. You need a new bra.
6. Those lovely areas of fat beside your breast area under your arm are infact Breast tissue when you put your bra on move it forward and put it in your bra.... (I'm not kidding)
7. You should never wear a sports bra as a regular bra..... Why? Because it has actually flattened and smooshed you in there and your breast tissue begins to grow differently after extended wear.... Yikes!
8. If you band rises up in the back instead of going around in a perfect oval you are wearing the wrong band size or it is stretched out and you need a new bra.... Your back tissue will actually start to mold to that band and you'll start to get a side ways C imprint of fatty tissue growth.
9. In most front clasping bras you need to go up a cup size.
10. If the underwire is poking you under your arm you either need a bigger band or a horse shoe shapped wire bra for the cup.
**** Remember bras should be comfortable and feel like they are molded to you!

Reminder to me

No more eating out...
Starting today
no more unnecessary spending.
Time to tighten the purse strings.

That girl back then

If you'd known me 5 years ago...

So much has changed. Some has stayed the same. I just had so much stress back then . . . and everyone notices I'm not that same girl anymore. I'm not so shy... gah. I'm not stressed (not really). My personality is completely different. I'm even more carefree then I was in highschool . . . those first few years. But I had a grandmother with Alzheimers btw. I recommend everyone watch the tapes from The Alzheimers Project on HBO. I know some towns actually have been playing it in their movie theaters. It's good some parts are a little drawn out. But it has claimed the lives of more people then I'd thought. And it's interesting to hear about the reasearch and to see people who are affected differently. Back to me and changes - So I've set my new goals and I'm excited to see them unfold. . . I'm not going into details because I STILL like surprises. And I think you guys will be surprised. Have a wonder-filled Wednesday!

It's a new day bring on the rain...

I'm still on a good buzz from the fun weekend with Jeff and hope we can do something similar again soon (like with in the next month or two). This weekend I work though and next weekend we're going with his parents to see his brother and his family. An adventure within itself! I've never been anywhere close to where they live so I'm excited!

I've been thinking alot about major changes that I might do. Some with work, some with school, others lifestyle (they're mostly in this category), just lots of things and new goals. If you haven't noticed I live on lists/ goals. Anyway... I'm doing a lot of thinking, reasoning, and praying, and I hope that the changes I make are for the best; we'll see!

A whirlwind weekend of events and emotions.

So this past weekend was some festival thing where a shit load of my family goes off and goes camping... It looks like everyone had a good time so I'm happy for them.

This past weekend for me Jeff took me to Charlotte. We walked around downtown went to my favorite bar/restaraunt, went and saw ghosts of girlfriends past, had a romantic walk in the rain. :) Then we went and got all dressed up and out to dinner. :) Lots of other fun stuff then lunch at the Cheesecake factory. And we brought cheesecake home for dessert. We planned to eat with Aunt Helen but she's back in the hospital. So we went on back to Jeff's parents, then the Wilsons, then back here where we watched a movie till the power went out then we spent a candlelit night playing boardgames.

And today at work well that's another adventure I don't think I can post. :(

Jesus wouldn't qualify (and an update)

Sometimes I just want to snap my fingers and have SOMEONE wake up and realize her list of priorites or qualities she's looking for in a man are so high that Jesus himself would not qualify. Some of the things on her list...
Have a Career. ($)
Don't Drink.
Don't Smoke.
Don't be overweight at all. (Muscular and skinny)
Be attractive.
Take her out and spend $ on her a few times a week.
Don't go anywhere - where people drink or smoke.
Don't hang out with females at all besides her.
Have no physical contact with females... (hugs, handshakes, etc.)
And the list continues.
Spend lots of time with her spending money doing things.....
Don't subject her to your family.

You might find someone in the first 3 categories maybe 4. But people do not spend boocotles of money on people unless they have boocotles, and wouldn't you rather someone spend time then money. And there aren't thousands of fit attractive men out there. Some of the hottest ones might have a little bagage or vise versa. It makes me so mad no wonder guys call us crazy this is just unrealistic, childish, and shallow.

SO on to other things...


I Found my item. It was actually an earring... belonging to the most exspensive set I own. I was sitting on the couch talking to Jeff on the phone and then I saw it on the floor infront of me. There was lots of screaming and yelling "guess what?!?!?!" Poor Jeff.

So the last few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions I've been up I've been down... I even managed to cry. Wow. I guess I'm a crazy female too ;) I've been a little stressed with the house, work, $, school, my car, etc and loosing my jewelry... AND I've been excited about work, goofball fixing up my yard for me, and an upcoming trip.

More family news - -
Good: One cousin expecting. One engaged. (This now leaves my bro and me- soon being the only unmarried ones in my immediate family. Ah!!! lol )
Bad: My Aunt isn't doing well. Jeff's taking me to see her this weekend. :) Send good vibes.

Still sleep deprived.

So yesterday Jeff and I went to see Rodney Carrington at the Civic Center. We were running a little late which I think is my fault for distracting him... he accidently left our tickets at the house and we had to come back. I think there are holes in my passenger seat from where my nails were holding on for dear life. It was a nice show. Ricky was there and a bunch of people I didn't know and never got introduced to so I guess they weren't too important hopefully. . . The three of us (inc Ricky) went out to applebees. Ricky was a little loud from a few drinks so it was entertaining or embarassing whichever way you look at it. It's definitly different being the only girl in a male discussion about mostly perverse topics.

I'm still searching for my lost item and have litterally torn the house apart... Now putting it back together. Blah.

I'm trying to get back to excersicing 30 minutes a day and working on my portions it's been hard with these distractions "lets go out and eat." But, I really do feel better when I get my excersice in for the day. My new goal is to be 1XX by June 24th. I weigh in on Wednesdays... But I realized I forgot this Wednesday. And I don't want to weigh myself today and screw up my schedule. So hopefully next Wednesday everything is back on track.

Baby Daddy?

Oh my there is so much drama going on right now in the life of my friends. Paternity tests, divorces, and one classmates kid happens to look like a miniature version of another?? Like so similar I'm starting to wonder if I'm seeing double. So which one is the dad? And does he know? Also. . .
I've currently lost something very important to me and I'm hoping I can find it soon. It litterally had me crying today.
Also I had lunch with my goofball today so that was good. I heart him bunches when he makes time for lunch dates.

Bags,,,

I have bags under my eyes like an old lady. This is from the current company I keep. People who like to talk to me until 2am... and also from my animals who keep me up until 5:30. Help! I'm so tired.

A Bean Day

Today pre work hours and post staying up cramming for the big test. I watched my nephew. Joyce had given him a haircut earlier last week. It looks much better now but here he is with his new bangs. Still a cutie.. But poor thing. We ate hamburgers from the grill... chased Wilson the escape artist. And other fun things. But now I'm off to work. Hope everyone is having a good day!

My Mouse Hunter

I have this crazy little kitten who is psycho. PSYCHO. He is little, hyper sometimes and sometimes super cuddly and sometimes extremely talkative, slightly retarded. I love him to pieces but he annoys me sometimes. lol. And today I was talking on the phone to my dad and mid-sentence I told him I needed to call Jeff. Petey found another mouse. Let me explain - I can handle lots of things. I have a list of extremely gross things I've dealt with or witnessed especially with my cna license. But I can not handle dead animals EXP mice. So I called Jeff to tell him there was an icky he needed to take care of but when I called him to see where he was he was on the interstate already. No mouse pick up tonight. Hopefully in the morning. Yes it's staying till the morning. I CAN'T HANDLE MICE. Gross I know. So Petey the Mouse Hunter is locked in the bedroom waiting for the pickup so he can come play again. I'm afraid if I let him out now he'll be flinging it all around the room.

How about a tie?

I'm trying to convince my t-shirt and cargo wearing boyfriend that it is Ok.... to every once in awhile step out of his wardrobe of tshirts and cargo pants/shorts and opt for the occasional polo, button down shirt, perhaps even a long tie . . . You'd think I'd asked him to perfrom some miserable task. He said we'd go to the mall. And I was overjoyed he agreed without me having to ask twice. But after a nice day of hanging out with his friends on the way home/ slash towards the mall he asked why he needed them. I told him I occasionally wanted to go places (on dates) where it'd be nice if a guy dressed up a teeny bit more then he does. "Well what are we getting" I told him three dress shirts and this Tshirt I'd seen that I thought I'd get him cause it was funny and SOMETHING I know HE'D WEAR for being so nice and going with me. But then he said he wouldn't want to go on any of those dates and I shouldn't try and change him. I'm not in all honesty. I never thought I wan in any way regardless of what people might have thought when we started dating. And as far as that goes I don't think you're changing who you are if you go on one or a few dates with your signicant other to places / to do activites they choose. But I don't want to push the matter regardless if he realizes it though he did say ok to atleast two dates where he'll need at least a button down short sleeve shirt. . . The horror. I know. But as I'm thinking about it there are lots of things that I used to do date wise I wouldn't have really chose - - But lately I haven't been doing it as much - Because he hasn't asked. He makes those things, things he does with the guys now. Hmm. Oh well.

So this weekend I had a date day Sunday and hanged out with his friends and basically just hung out around the house. So you'd say I've had a relaxing weekend. But I'm really tired today. And I have so much to do around the house. Not with laundry (yay!) but I have some projects I want to get done. Mostly cleaning out my closet, working out, and reorganizing my kitchen cabinets, and scanning some pictures I need to return to my Aunt. I just want to take a nap though? That's weird I never take naps. But we'll see how the evening plays out.

21st Birthdays and Easter.

I had a wild and crazy night (not too wild for me I was the DD) with friends celebrating Jesse's 21st Birthday. It was the type of thing that started at 11pm. included drunks, lap dances, chasing down your drunk friends and getting them in the car so you can take them home... you know that kinda thing. I got home at 9 am. lol. Heres a FEW pictures from that experience.

J and M

J, Me, and, the other M




Life has been crazy and good lately except for the occasional remarks from certain individuals that I'm never getting married. And to think I'm only 23. What happened to women being career builders first and mothers second or wives whatever. I just found out the company which I work for will not be hiring anyone for full time from now on and neither will I be getting more hours this summer during the "busy" season as I had thought for some reason. Silly me. I'm thinking about going and getting a full time job to go with my part time job JUST for the SUMMER. But I'm not sure if I can do that. Things get hectic right now just with part time. I live on lists that aren't getting finished as it is I can't really imagine even more caos added but I'm not sure. I'm debating on it the money will be good. And maybe its what I need a change of scenery. Or something? Easter was kinda like Christmas odd this year. lol. I spent easter alone until about 7 when my bro invited me over for dinner and then I came back home and Jeff was here and we watched the dark knight. Which I'd been wanting to see. However, - - - I didn't really like it. Sorry to all the millions of fans out there.



My Guys Baskets.

Jeff's Easter Basket
(lots of reeses and of course a "pooping" bunny)

My Bean's Easter Basket.
He Loves Monkeys.

Anyways Negys Basket was about Monkeys this year. And I threw in a Beehtoven movie. Since he loves Tucker. His favorite part was the bubbles though. I babysat him today and of course I have more cute stories which I had to call mom and tell her immediately and then Jeff was crazy enough to invite me for lunch where I talked his ear off about how super cute Negy is. Oh how I love My Bean.

working out

So I've been kicking this fitness stuff in the rear.

Last night after work I did my little workout granted I didn't go as long as you were suppose to. But it's my first day back. And My feet were swollen from work - not great workout conditions. Then today before I could procrastinate I worked out as soon as I got up. I made it through the whole beach body workout and added some of my own things here and there besides all that dancing crap. And I feel better already. My plan is 30 minutes of this for awhile and then I'll add on as I have more energy. Tomorrow is a big day. I'm excited!

Rambling...

I've been looking over previous posts.

I really need to buckle down on somethings I planned to do...

Loose weight.

I'm doing good with the putting x away each week and am a "little" bit ahead of the game which is good because my hours vary weekly. I still feels like a struggle though.

However, I suck at the only going out to eat once in awhile part... I've started hanging out with some new friends and they love going out esp to Olive Garden and other places where I can't get a meal for cheap. So I've decided no more of that bs for that reason and I honestly believe certain people aren't good for my better health. I don't always have the best luck when it comes to people. Sometimes I think guys find friends easier then girls. Sometimes it just feels like I'm being taken advantage of. I know I'm not a confrontational person though so I do avoid issues and generally say yes when I want to say hell no. Oooh I'm trying to work on this of course. I just need to make some small changes and get back on track.

One of my cousins is getting married in Oct in SC kinda between Charleston and Savannah. Anyway, I'm excited. And hoping as many of the cousins come as possible to this "destination" wedding. After this wedding there will only be a few more left... Heck some of my cousins have been married for 18 years now (well it'll be 18 years on the 13th).... All my cousins on my mom's side. Just a few on dad's side remain but I think a few don't want to get married ;)

March marches by...

First I thought I should mention something about my valentines. It was AMAZING! Jeff took me to see Friday the 13th! Not your typical date. But I got to go in jeans and a t. Then he took me to downtown to some restaurant we'd never been to. It was fancy shamncy and some women were even wearing prom dresses. So here I am in my jeans afraid to get up from the table. I kept my coat on the whole time. lol. It was really nice then afterwards we went out again. And then the next morning he took me to our favorite place for Breakfast--- yummy.

Joyce had her surgery the 4th. I picked Negy up and he fell asleep on the way to the mall. I carried him to the seating area and then told him we'd have to wake up or go back to the car. He woke up. We got chicken fingers at the food court and then headed to build a bear to make mommy a get well present. He picked a pink monkey. And loved giving it a bath. Then he had to carry it back through the mall and stop and talk to everyone and show him Pinky (Pink Floyd)/ which was later named Joyce the Monkey. We stopped and got Joyce soup and then he brought Joyce Monkey to her room. Joyces surgery went good.

The 7th Donna, Jesse, and I had a girls night after work in celebration of my birthday. Olive Garden and the Movies.

The 8th I had dinner at B&Js and then the 9th I came back and had it again. This time Jim and Kylie were there to help me celebrate. She is soo freakin cute. Too much for her own good. Kylie and Bean took a bath together which was even cuter. lol. And we had peanut butter cake. yum. I had to open on my birthday but Jeff came and had lunch with me. So I didn't mind at all.

I also took a lovely trip to PG and was awarded with D.D.s as soon as I got off the plane. lol. Went to one of Josh's practices had some mom time. Had lunch with the Gill girls. Dinner at Pine Key with Amanda and Kristen. And went to Boca Raton with the fam. It was a nice escape.

Had another girls night with Donna

Then this past weekend was a date weekend. Eating out. Dessert in. TV shows and other random date events. I heart my Jeff.

Why is there so much more work in being a girl. More upkeep. Shaving, tweezing, highlighting, dying etc. I am 22 years old and I have gray hair?? So I have to get it dyed. Yes it's a have not a want. I mean sure if I was I dunno 42 and married then sure bring on the gray...ehh well I'm still not sure about that actually. But I believe there should be some law that doesn't allow young unmarried women to gray. And shaving daily, and tweezing and everything else. What does a guy have to do... Ocassionally shave his face and cut his hair. BUT some guys can't grow facial hair. So they only have one little upkeep besides their personal hygeine. I think it's unfair and if it all boils down to Eve taking the freaking apple then I think it should have bred it's self out by now.

January where did you go?

January went by too fast. I have so much school work and regular work lately that there was nothing really besides those two activites that I did. I did do one thing though I went to a basketball game at mars hill and had a girls night with Sheena. So I have set up this goal where I want to have X amount in the bank by May 1st. In order to do that I have to put a certain amount in the bank every week.... Well the next two weeks will be easy as I have over 30 hours one week and whatever the following. But the week after that I'm only working 1 day. Ehh maybe I can count up my change again. Who knows.
Some of my assignments in a few of my classes are very strenuous but I remind myself that I'm doing ok and although I think the reading articles are horrible. Like the case of Sarah Grosvoner or something it's something I never knew before and hopefully will never have to read again. I look on the plus side - I learned something new.
We got snow yesterday. Yay I miss that we don't get as much as we used to. I actually couldn't make it home for a 2nd time this year. Oh well. Jason drove me and I was very thankful for him and of course for Bahnson for having such good friends. T0 give his "little" sister a ride home. Ugh I will probably always be that no matter how old I get but I guess it's better then other descriptives. Anyway I am off to finish cleaning the house and then back to my less then interesting class readings.